Hymns oddly notated....

I am very grateful to Fr Douglas Bond for sending me this email today. Though those who follow the link must have a good sense of humour

Had a bad day?(SPEAKERS NEED TO BE SWITCHED ON IF YOU USE THE LINK!!!!)
I've just been going through some old emails and found this wonderful link a friend sent me in 2005.

http://pharisaios2.scriptmania.com/Hymn/hymnbookindex.htm.

I see ithe website still exists, but don't click on it unless you're prepared to waste half an hour -- it's addictive!

The very good friend who originlly sent it to me and who never fails to lift my often flagging spirits also sent me the one below.As the new Dean of Truro was installed today I attach one example to give you the flavour.


(to the tune of Waltzing Matilda)

Once the Dean of Truro camped around the sanctuary
Swinging his thurible with shrieks of glee;
Smirking at the choir boys, calling to the organist,
"Who’ll come and do Benediction with me?"

Chorus
"Not me, my darling." Said the Precentor.
"I’d rather listen to Mozart in B.
I don’t like your monstrance and I don’t like your candlesticks.
I am a good little C of E."

Father Sean O’Reilly ran up to the sacristan
Waving a chalice in front of his nose.
"This isn’t port, boy. Tastes as bad as a Beaujolais.
That’s why the faithful have gone to St Joe’s.

Get me some Taylors or maybe some Cockburn’s Croft.
Rather drink Fosters than this foul slop.
Good parish masses need a strong communion wine.
Set up an account with a good bottle shop."

Mother Mary Martha led her sisters to the bar.
"Girls, we’ve a mission to do." said she.
"Save all the drunkards from their lives of misery but
if there’s a hunk, make sure you save him for me!

We need to show these louts there’s a better way;
Wasting their lives when there’s so much to do.
We’ll teach them all about love and forgiveness
And if we teach them well, we’ll get some action too!"

Julius O’Flaherty, order of the Holy Rag
Loved St Veronica with all his heart.
500 hankies with the sweat of God himself,
Selling at $12, proves he’s really smart.

"It’s not extortion. Not even fraud m’dear!
Relics boost the faith of the frail and the queer.
Share in our Lord’s burden; share your cash with those in need,
And in no time at all I’ll spend it all on beer."