Jack Sparrow Lyrics - Andy Samberg, TLI, & Michael Bolton

Here are the lyrics. Comment any changes for us! It took me awhile to figure out that the female/drag reference was Erin Brokovich.

Enjoy!

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Clean version:




Explicit lyrics (YouTube version) at the bottom.

Jack Sparrow Lyrics

Extra:

Guys, Michael Bolton is here.
================

Andy:

Great. Send him in.
================

Bolton:

Hey guys. Really sorry I'm late. I just got caught up watching Pirates of the Caribbean marathon. Have you seen those things?
================

Andy (and TLI):

Yeah, those are great.
================

Bolton:

Well, I listened to your track, and I loved it. And I wrote you this big, sexy hook I think you're going to really dig.
================

Akiva:

Oh wow.
================

Andy:

That's great. You want to just lay it down?
================

Bolton:

Boys, let's get to it.
================

Andy:

Here we go.

Lonely Island.
Michael Bolton.
The night starts now.
Together on the track.
The boys are back.
The night starts now.

Night starts now, baby roll with us. Chicks a snappin' at the neck when we rollin' up.

Cold flat doors ain't no holdin' up. Black car hit the bar, like I gives a f***.
================

Jorma:

Looking so fly when we walk into the set.
F*** the fellas looking jealous, play the back and get wet.

In my waist, shake in my sock. Either get cut, get stuffed, or get shot. (This needs work.)

-----------------------

Michael Bolton:

This is the tale of Captain Jack Sparrow.

A pirate so brave, on the seven seas.
================

Andy:

What?
================

Bolton:

A mystical quest to the Isle of Tortuga.

Brave and not sway, on the ocean's breeze! (Needs work.)
-------------

Akiva Schaffer:

Yeah, that was kinda weird but we back in the club. Buying up the bar so the groupies show us up.
-------------

Bolton:

Kiera Knightly!
-------------

Akiva:

Mother***in' iceman, I'm the top gunner. Heat our own blast, I'm the number one stunner.
-------------

Bolton:

Jack Sparrow!
-------------

Andy Samberg:

Watch it girl, cause I ain't your Mr. nice guy. More like the meet ya, take ya home, and f*** ya twice guy.

All dressed up with nowhere to run. I know I'll make ya go crazy with my gun.
----------

Michael Bolton:

Now back to the good part:

The day he was born, he yearned for adventure.
----------

Andy:

Nooo.
----------

Bolton:

Ol' Captain Jack
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Jorma:

Yeah...
----------

Bolton:

Giving them what for!

He's the corper of the surf, the jester of Tortuga. From Davy Jones' locker, what lies in store?
----------

Akiva:

Yeah, I've seen the movie.
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Andy:

Hands in the air and say hell yeah, C'mon.
----------

Michael:

Captain Jack...
----------

Andy:

What?
----------

Bolton:

Johnny Depp
----------

Andy:

No.
----------

Jorma:

From the front to the back, say we count stacks. Come on!
----------

Michael:

Davy Jones
----------

Jorma:

Nope.
----------

Bolton:

Giant squid.
----------

Jorma:

Wrong.
----------

Akiva:

Michael Bolton, we're really gonna need you to focus up.
----------

Michael:

Roger that, lemme try with another film.
----------

Andy:

Wait!
----------

Bolton:

Life is a box of chocolates. And my name is Forrest Gump.
----------

Andy:

Not better.
----------

Bolton:

Though I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed, I give Jenny all my love.
----------

Akiva:

Come on!
----------

Bolton:

Ok, then i'm a legal aid, Erin Brokovich is my name.
----------

Jorma:

Oh, *.
----------

Bolton:

Then you can call me Scarface. Snorting mountains of cocaine.
----------

Andy:

Close enough.
----------

Bolton:

You cockroaches wanna play rough?
OKAY! I'm reloaded!

This is the tale, of Tony Montana.

This is the tale!

Choke on a flame, with Miami nuts (this obviously isn't right).

Gunna make them wait; the room is polluted. (also not right)

This whole town's a p****, just waiting to get b@ned!
----------

Andy:

It turns out Michael Bolton is a major cinephile.
----------

Bolton:

You complete me!
----------

Andy:

Yeah. Yeah. Okay.
----------



WARNING: Explicit lyrics versions...




That's it! Please leave comments with corrections! And...

Enjoy!

Michael Bolton's "Jack Sparrow" photos on Facebook (Andy Samberg)

Special thanks to Freya for the scoop!

Michael Bolton with Akiva Schaffer and Jorma Taccone:



Bolton with Akiva:



Bolton with Andy Samberg and Akiva:



Bolton as Jack Sparrow:



Michael Bolton plays Erin Brokovich here:



He looks like an older Sarah Jessica Parker (or maybe Celine Dion).

More photos and links after the jump:



Bolton with Akiva:



Bolton with Akiva and Jorma:



Bolton's about to pop up in front of Andy:



Bolton on set with the dudes (not as high as we thought):





People are watching them shoot this scene (oh so eventful; they just set up the shot, lip sync and do it again a few times):



Would you watch a shoot like this?



View more pics here:
http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10150287183698154.402741.159289123153#!/media/set/?set=a.10150287183698154.402741.159289123153&closeTheater=1

And as a bonus (thanks to TishaLovesComedy), click here for a pic of Andy helping direct the video:

http://www.popeater.com/2009/09/24/on-location-stars-on-the-set/


So would you watch a shoot like the Forest Gump scene(if it meant TLI was there, or at least Akiva)? Seems kind of boring to me.


Enjoy!

Jack Sparrow song plays tonight on SNL!!!

I'm on the west coast, but folks on the east coast already watched it.

Tune in to see a music video with Andy Samberg and Michael Bolton!

Enjoy!

Tin Fey SNL Promo (baby?)

Let's see what Tina says about her baby...



Tina Fey hosts Saturday Night Live with musical guest Ellie Goulding.

Enjoy!

Andy Samberg & Helen Mirren -> SNL RECAP!!!

Saturday Night Live Recap: Helen Mirren & Andy Samberg's Nebbishy ‘Mort Feingold’


Here's Andy with Helen:
 

 

Most Ridiculous
The digital short, "Helen Mirren's Magical Bossom," allowed SNL to run a reel of historical moments and to have Nasim Pedrad grabbing Helen Mirren's breasts. Winning.



Most Impressions Packed Into One Sketch
We have a soft spot for Andy Samberg, and his Jewish accountant impression landed. Plus, Paul Brittain’s James Franco and Abby Elliot’s Khloe Kardashian are still going strong.

From:
http://nymag.com/daily/entertainment/2011/04/snl_recap_8.html?imw=Y&f=most-viewed-24h5

Enjoy!

Tina Fey SNL Promo

Tina Fey hosts Saturday Night Live with musical guest Ellie Goulding.



Here Tina gets her jokes on with Kenan.

"Yeah, I'm swearing for two these days." Very funny!

Enjoy!

Justin Timberlake & Lady Gaga to host SNL Season Finale!

Also, Tina Fey and Seth Green coming in May!

By episode number:

700 "Tina Fey" & Taio Cruz May 7, 2011
701 "Seth Green" & Big Time Rush May 14, 2011
702 "Justin Timberlake" & Lady Gaga May 21, 2011



Justin Timberlake is ready to flex his live acting chops. The entertainer has reportedly been tapped to host the season finale of 'Saturday Night Live' on May 21, according to a tweet from the official 'SNL' Twitter account. Though the tweet was quickly deleted, the message was in response to a fan asking who would serve as master of ceremonies during Season 36's last episode.

"I didn't realize that @nbcSNL isn't back until May 7th!!! What am I going to do!? Is Tina Fey the season finale!"' the fan wrote. "Nope! We have Timberlake after that," responded a rep using the 'SNL' Twitter page.

This marks the first time that Timberlake has hosted 'SNL' since May 9, 2009. His past appearances have been wildly popular thanks to his viral videos for '$ in a Box' and 'Motherlover,' earning a Emmy Award [for Junk in a Box in 2007 and again] for Outstanding Guest Actor in a Comedy Series in 2009. He made his first hosting appearance in 2003, and also served as musical guest, reprising his hosting duties two more times since then.

Timberlake has been focusing more on his acting career since the release of his 2006 sophomore album, 'FutureSex/LoveSounds.' He will next be seen in the raunchy comedy 'Bad Teacher,' co-starring ex-girlfriend Cameron Diaz. The film lands in theaters on June 24.

From:
http://www.theboombox.com/2011/04/20/justin-timberlake-to-host-snl-season-finale/?a_dgi=aolshare_twitter

From Freya:

Timberlake and Gaga will be the last host & Musical Guest of the season. Haha i knew that Akiva had accidently let the cat out of the bag on the Comedy Awards red carpet!

Thanks to Freya for the Timberlake scoop!

Seth Green? What do you think of that?

So did Seth Meyers slip on the host a little early (or whoever tweets from that account)? (Seth tweets from a few SNL-related accounts, so I just assume he does most of the SNL tweets.)

How about a new musical digital short with Andy and Justin? How sweet would that be? Plus it gives TLI an automatic hit to put on their third album. =^)

Happy Easter!

Enjoy!

Andy Samberg's Hugh Jackman (his other two skits from this week)

Unfortunately, Andy was in two other skits this week that NBC did not put online (I already skimmed the full episode and made sure they were cut out of that as well). The reason is usually that they used music in the show that they don't have the rights to. Come on, NBC! Step up your game!

Don't make Wolverine Andy angry:



And here's a little info about the two skits...

Monologue

Helen Mirren
Paul Brittain
Bill Hader
Taran Killam
Bobby Moynihan
Andy Samberg
Kenan Thompson



Apparently the SNL dudes were a bunch of sailors. =^)


Show - The Best of Both Worlds



Helen Mirren ... Julie Andrews
Bill Hader ... announcer (voice)
Taran Killam ... Gerard Butler
Bobby Moynihan ... Richie
Andy Samberg ... Hugh Jackman
Kenan Thompson ... Ice Cube



This is the first time Andy (and anyone on SNL) has done Hugh Jackman. It looks like Andy's Hugh was the host (which makes sad Andy even sadder).

I think it's hilarious that Andy's Hugh Jackman is a combination of Wolverine hair and Hugh's tux. (Reminds me of how Taran did his Ian McKellan impression as Ian dressed as Gandalf.) In fact, Taran does a similar thing in this skit with his Gerard Butler impression, dressed as King Leonidas from 300. Hilarious!



First time that Ice Cube (by Kenan Thompson) was done on SNL.



And it's the first time that Taran Killam (or anyone) played Gerard Butler. Although Gerard himself was on SNL and played a parody of his King Leonidas character.



Helen Mirren played Julie Andrews. Julie has only been parodied directly once on SNL by Christine Baranski back in 1996, on Molly Shannon's Courtney Love show:



Although Ann Hathaway played Mary Poppins a few years back.

==============

Anyway...

What do you think of Wolverine Andy? Is he cute? Here he is again...



Oh, and did anybody see the episode and want to fill us in more about those two skits? Thanks!

Enjoy!

Tina Fey to host SNL on May 7th (and all Tina's guest appearances)

I think this makes sense. After all, Tina was nominated for acting on SNL for the last three season! And her win was in 2009 for guest starring as Governor Palin in the Presidential Bash.

We list all of Tina Fey's SNL guest appearances below this article...

===============



What maternity leave? Tina Fey will host Saturday Night Live on May 7, according to The Hollywood Reporter.

It will be the third time [EDitor: Not true! See notes below article!] that 30 Rock star and creator, who announced her pregnancy earlier this week, will return to Studio 8H. She last hosted a year ago and later appeared in the Mother's Day edition of SNL, hosted by Betty White.

No word if Fey will reprise her Emmy-winning take as Sarah Palin. But Fey wrote in her new book, Bossypants, that she thinks her impersonation of Palin didn't help 30 Rock's ratings.

Will 30 Rock end next year? Alec Baldwin says yes

"My TV show still enjoys very low ratings," she wrote. "In fact, I think the Palin stuff may have hurt the TV show. Let's face it, between Alec Baldwin and me there is a certain fifty percent of the population who think we are pinko Commie monsters."

Are you excited to see Fey back on SNL?

From:
http://omg.yahoo.com/news/tina-fey-to-host-snl-in-may/60254
====================================

Okay that bit of Tina Fey only appearing on SNL two previous times after leaving the show... is just not true.

Tina Fey has been incredibly prolific on SNL after she left the show, and she was Emmy nominated once for acting on the show when she was on the show (her last season), but she's been nominated twice for acting on the show after leaving the show. (I argue that she became more famous when she left SNL than when she was ever on it.)

Here are all her guest appearances (13) from after she left the show:

11.11.2006 - Alec Baldwin hosted, and Tina appeared in the monologue. Alec is her costar on 30 Rock (and she's the reason why he got that gig and a new jumpstart in his career).

02.23.2008 - Tina's first hosting gig on SNL.

04.05.2008 - Christopher Walken hosted. They aired the Annuale commercial again from her Feb 08 hosting gig. This counts!

09.13.2008 - Michael Phelps hosted. Tina appeared as Palin opposite Amy Poehler's Hillary Clinton in the Cold Open. This was her first appearance as Palin (and they rushed her onto the show for this).

09.27.2008 - Anna Faris hosted. Tina appeared as Palin opposite Amy Poehler's Katie Couric.

10.04.2008 - Anne Hathaway hosted. Tina appeared as Palin in the Cold Open, a Vice Presidential Debate.

10.18.2008 - Josh Brolin hosted. Tina appeared in the Cold Open as Palin for the Palin Press Conference. It got busted by the real Sarah Palin. Alec Baldwin appeared (and mistook Sarah for Tina), and Mark Wahlberg also appeared (looking for Andy Samberg to score his revenge). It was like backstage at a wrestling event! When Palin came onto the stage, Tina fled (she was warned by Alec).

10.23.2008 - Tina appeared on Weekend Update Thursday, opposite Will Ferrell's George Bush in the Cold Opening.

11.01.2008 - Ben Affleck hosted. Tina appeared in the Cold Opening as Palin, opposite the real Sen. John McCain.

03.14.2009 - Tracy Morgan hosted, Tina's costar on 30 Rock. Tina appered in the Cold Open as Tracy stormed back on SNL (getting past security and others).

04.10.2010 - Tina's second hosting gig.

05.08.2010 - Betty White hosted for Mothers Day. Tina Fey and many other SNL lady legends showed up to support.

09.25.2010 - Tina already appeared once this season. Amy Poehler hosted. Tina appeared in a dream sequence during her Monologue.

So there you go. This is her third hosting gig and 14th appearance on SNL since she left (but it's mostly because of all her Palin appearances).

Enjoy!

Helen Mirren SNL Promo with Fred Armisen

Helen Mirren hosts an all-new SNL 4/9 with musical guest Foo Fighters.



Normally I want Andy to do a digital short with the host, but this week I'm hoping they show a new music video (or one of the skit tracks) from their upcoming album!

Thanks to Anony for the scoop!

Enjoy!

Helen Mirren is hosting SNL this week

That's okay that she won't spoof the royals, since Elton John just did it this week with Bill, Fred, and Andy.



NEW YORK, N.Y. --
Helen Mirren is excited to make her “Saturday Night Live” debut on April 9, when she takes on hosting duties.

However, the Oscar winner said there is one character she won’t be bringing to life on the show – the Queen.

“[I’m] nervous and excited. It’s something I’ve never done before, so it’s always kind of thrilling to do that,” Helen told AccessHollywood.com’s Laura Saltman during the junket for her new big screen comedy, “Arthur,” co-starring Russell Brand.

While her “SNL” debut comes just weeks before the Royal Wedding between Prince William and Kate Middleton, Helen – who told Access she actually has done live comedy before in London – said she won’t take on the role of Queen Elizabeth in any late night skit.

“Oh my God, no! I must tell them I’m not going to play any royal,” Helen added. “That’s the one thing I’m not going to do. That was a role I did and it was fine, but you know, I don’t want to do it again, basically.”

As for what the veteran actress would like to do on the show, she said she’d love to team up with another famous Brit who will be hosting the show the week before – Sir Elton John.

“Yeah, that would be great,” she said of joining the Grammy winner, who will take on host and co-musical guest (along with Leon Russell) double duty for the April 2 episode. “There are so many opportunities for comedy in the world around us.”

Catch Helen as [the] “SNL” host alongside musical guests Foo Fighters on April 9 on NBC.

From:
http://www.accesshollywood.com/helen-mirren-says-she-wont-spoof-royals-during-snl-debut_article_45797

Enjoy!

Elton John and Kristen Wiig SNL promo

Make sure you watch the new SNL tonight! I wonder if TLI has another music video to premiere!

Elton hosts an all-new SNL Saturday April 2.



Some good gags from Kristen.

Enjoy!

Elton John SNL Promo (with Jason)

Elton John hosts an all-new SNL Saturday April 2.



What if Elton John did a musical video with Andy Samberg? How sweet would that be? =^)

Enjoy!

Zach Galifianakis SNL Promo - Jason & Jessie J

Zach Galifianakis hosts an all new SNL 3/12 with musical guest Jessie J.



So Zach probably wrote the first joke and Jason the second.

This just shows me how much funnier Andy and Zach were together!

Are you looking forward to anything tonight? I'd like to see Andy and Zach team up in a digital short (last time it was obviously Zach's idea of him invading various shows).

Enjoy!

Miley Cyrus talks about hosting SNL this week

Jimmy talks to Miley about hosting Saturday Night Live while trying on various mustaches.



Miley talks about working with Vanessa Bayer and her love of Vanessa's impression of her:



Enjoy!

Saturday Night Live Backstage (videos)

So SNL aired a special called "Saturday Night Live Backstage" to talk more about making SNL. It shows interviews (like a documentary), mixed with clips from the show.

An all-new 2 hour SNL special aired 2/20 at 9pm. SNL Backstage looks at what goes on behind the scenes to make SNL for the past 36 seasons.



This next bit shows Joe Piscopo talking about his Frank Sinatra skits. He had a deep respect for Frank, and so he wanted his skits to not offend him.



In this next video, Albert Brooks talks about his first SNL short experiences. He obviously didn't quite get what Lorne was after. (Lorne wanted short 3-minute pieces like The Lonely Island's shorts, where he can stick them in places when he needs more time for his cast to get ready.



In this next video, Pen and Teller talk about their magic trick they did for the show. This is pretty funny. This is a good trick, and the audience was obvioiusly involved in it, so they think it's funnier than the viewers would:



In this next video, Buck Henry talks about his interesting censorship experience:



This next bit is Victoria Jackson about singing her Bimbo song. Lorne is notorious for making his people wait two hours to meet with him. I'm putting this last, because it was relevant at the time, but it wasn't super funny, and her singing voice is a little annoying.



Enjoy!

Miley Cyrus SNL Promo (with Kenan)

Miley Cyrus hosts an all-new SNL March 5 with musical guest The Strokes.



My favorite one was at the beginning where they switched voices. =^)

It would be "pretty cool" if Miley did a musical digital short with Andy Samberg.

Enjoy!

New SNL Hosts Confirmed - Zach Galifinakis & Elton John!

New SNL hosts confirmed......



March 12th - Zach Galifinakis/Jessie J



April 2nd - Elton John (both host and musical guest)

Thanks to Victoria for the scoop! As Victoria said, it would be great if Elton did a Digital Short with Andy! =^)

Enjoy!

Bill Hader's hilarious VW car commercials

Bill Hader has been tapped by Volkswagen to shill their 2011 Jetta, Tiguan, and Touareg models, and the resulting spots are… surprisingly funny.





The web series, titled Inside the VW Academy, features Hader and “vehicle expert” Danielle Gumro in a total of eighteen videos that mix scripted and improvised comedy with cold, hard Volkswagen facts.





SNL writer John Mulaney is on hand, providing the voice of a VW executive (and presumably assisting with witty dialogue).

From:
http://www.saturday-night-live.com/2011/01/bill-hader-makes-car-commercials-tolerable/





I think John Mulaney and Bill Hader are incredibly hilarious when writing together, and these are perfect examples. They are all funny, and even when a gag seems funny, they keep with it, and it pays off by the end.



Enjoy!

Andy Samberg gets 7th place in the Russell Brand SNL episode

7. Andy Samberg (12 points): I’ve always liked the vibe when Samberg and Hader team up for a sketch (“Laser Cats”!), so it was a joy (albeit a very shouty one) to see their “A Spot Of Tea” sketch.



Read the rest:
http://www.bestweekever.tv/2011-02-16/snl-power-rankings-things-get-shouty-when-russell-brands-around/

Enjoy!